As seniors begin to enter their later years of life, they often rely on family members, caregivers, and healthcare professionals for assistance with daily living activities and companionship. While most interactions with seniors who are aging in place are rooted in kindness and care, the way we communicate with them can have a significant impact on their self-esteem and overall mental health.
One communication pattern that has become increasingly apparent with scientists and care professionals is "elderspeak." This form of speech can be deeply disrespectful and even harmful to a senior's dignity and emotional state.
At Senior Home Care by Angels, we understand that genuine quality home care for seniors goes beyond helping with daily living tasks. It's also about creating mutual respect, practicing empathy, and creating meaningful connections. That's why our caregivers are trained to communicate with seniors in a supportive and empowering manner that encourages independence and self-worth in every client we serve.
What Is Elderspeak?
Elderspeak is a type of infantilizing communication that individuals use when their speech is directed toward older adults. This type of communication often resembles the tone or style used when adults are speaking to young children. Using elderspeak can include:
- Exaggerated intonation
- Simplified vocabulary
- Slow speech
- Overly familiar pet names such as "sweetie," "dear," or "honey."
Though many people unknowingly use this type of speech, believing it conveys warmth or care, elderspeak can actually have the opposite effect. Often, seniors perceive elderspeak as a sign that they are incompetent, dependent, or less capable than they truly are. This form of communication can be especially harmful when directed toward seniors who are already experiencing similar feelings, such as feeling vulnerable due to health changes, mobility limitations, or cognitive decline.
Most Common Elderspeak Examples
It's very important that caregivers and family members are able to recognize that they are actively engaging in elderspeak. This is the first step toward eliminating its occurrence. Some common elderspeak examples include:
- Using Pet Names Instead of Proper Names - Using phrases, such as "How are we doing today, sweetie?" instead of "How are you feeling today, Mrs. Chen?", is a form of elderspeak that can be seen as demeaning by seniors.
- Overly Simplified or Sing-Song Tone - Using a light and high-pitched sing-song voice when saying things like, "Let's get you all cleaned up now" is a typical elderspeak example.
- Collective "We" Statements That Remove Autonomy - When you use statements such as, "Are we ready for our lunch?" instead of "Would you like to have lunch now?", seniors may feel as if their choices and autonomy have been taken away.
- Using Slow Speech or Loud Voice - Speaking too slowly or being overly loud when the senior doesn't have hearing or cognitive processing issues is not needed.
- Using Diminutives or Childish Phrasing - Using statements like "Time for your nap!" rather than "Would you like to rest for a bit?" can take away a senior's sense of independence and ability to make choices for themselves.
Even when these statements are used with affection, this type of language can have serious emotional consequences on seniors, especially those who value their independence and self-identity.
Why Elderspeak Can Be Harmful
Elderspeak being used by family members or caregivers might seem harmless or even endearing. However, research consistently shows it can have negative mental and social effects on older adults.
There are several ways that elderspeak can be harmful to seniors, including:
- Erodes Self-Esteem & Dignity - When seniors are spoken to as if they are young children, it can make them feel as if the person has belittled and devalued them. It can undermine their sense of confidence and autonomy.
- Reduces Cooperation In Care Settings - Research has shown that elderspeak can actually increase resistance to care, including both family and hired caregivers. This is particularly among seniors who experience elderspeak with dementia. Seniors may feel patronized or disrespected by elderspeak, which often leads to frustration, agitation, or withdrawal.
- Reinforces Negative Age Stereotypes - Elderspeak commonly reinforces the false notion that all older adults are frail, forgetful, or incapable of understanding or doing things themselves, which contributes to broader ageism and mental health decline in society.
- Affects Emotional Well-Being - Constant exposure to elderspeak or demeaning language can cause seniors to experience feelings of depression, loneliness, and helplessness.
At Senior Home Care by Angels, our caregivers are thoroughly trained to speak to every client like the adult they are in an effort to uphold their emotional wellness through communicating with seniors in ways that affirm their identity, encourage independence, and build trust.
Elderspeak and Dementia
Elderspeak is particularly damaging when it is directed toward seniors living with dementia or other cognitive conditions that may cause impairment. Seniors with dementia are often highly attuned to tone and emotion, even if they struggle to understand or think of specific words. A condescending tone or speaking to them as if they were a toddler can trigger agitation or confusion. However, maintaining respectful communication can promote calmness and cooperation.
For example, using short, clear sentences in a calm and friendly tone, without engaging in baby talk or using exaggerated inflection, can help a senior with dementia feel safe and understood. Instead of saying, "Let's get you all dressed up now, okay, sweetheart," a caregiver should say, "It's time to get dressed now, Mrs. Martin. Would you like to wear your favorite shirt today?"
Our caregivers at Senior Home Care by Angels receive specialized dementia and Alzheimer's care training that goes above standard practice, which includes so that they have a high level understanding of how language and communication styles impact a dementia patient's behavior and mood. By using respectful, person-centered language, we can help families and seniors preserve each client's dignity and reduce distress.
How to Avoid Elderspeak
Eliminating elderspeak begins with being aware and recognizing that you are doing it, even when it is subconscious. Whether you are a family caregiver, a member of our staff, or a friend, you can learn to adjust your communication style with seniors to better respect and empower them.
Here are some tips for avoiding elderspeak:
- Use Proper Names - Always address seniors by their preferred name or title as a sign of respect. If they prefer to be called Mrs. Smith instead of Betty, then you should do so. This shows respect and recognizes them as individuals.
- Avoid Exaggerated Tones or Pet Names - Speak in a conversational voice that is what you would naturally use when speaking with another adult. Kindness can be conveyed through warmth and attentiveness in your speech, but baby talk should not be used.
- Ask, Don't Tell - Make sure to offer them choices instead of giving instructions, such as "Would you like tea or coffee?" instead of saying "Let's have some tea now."
- Use Inclusive & Respectful Language - Avoid saying "we" or using collective language that removes their independence. Instead of asking, "Are we ready for our walk?" caregivers should try asking, "Would you like to go for a walk now?"
- Match Communication To The Person's Needs - If a person has hearing loss or is experiencing memory challenges, you should try to adjust your volume, clarity, or phrasing accordingly, but without assuming incompetence.
- Focus On Empowerment - We recommend that caregivers encourage seniors to make their own decisions on various things whenever possible, such as their shirt, or if they want to go right or left on their walk, reinforcing their control over their lives.
Choose Senior Home Care by Angels for Dignified, Respectful Care
If you're looking for compassionate and knowledgeable in-home care for an aging loved one in Canada, Senior Home Care by Angels is always here to help. Our approach is rooted in providing empathy, respect, and the belief that every senior deserves to be treated as a capable individual, never as a child.
Our home care services include:
We proudly serve families across Canada, offering them the peace of mind that comes from knowing their loved one is completely cared for with kindness, respect, and professionalism.
To learn more about our senior home care services throughout Canada or to schedule a free in-home consultation, don't hesitate to contact your local Senior Home Care by Angels office today.